My wife and I have been married for 6 years. We have one son who is my world. A little debt and a decent house.
I feel like an asshole complaining about it, but its bugged me to the point I am at my breaking point.
My wife and I started dating 10 years ago and have had the same problems consistently through out. I always had the mindset that I could work on it and put up with it until she outgrew these behaviors. That if I just worked hard enough and took good enough care of her she would enjoy life and be happy. When our son was born my mind set changed... My horizon went from the next year or so to the end, and suddenly the things that I saw a end to were just being around the corner were really never ending. She will always treat me like this, she will always be mean to me if she is under any stress, if I need her it will always be a "huge favor" for her to do things for me...
We went to marriage counseling, total bust. Focusing on how we communicate was not the issue. The underlying issue is what is important to me is not important to her.
Somewhere along the way I stopped waking up wanting to be with her. I started dreading coming home from work. I'm excited to see my son, and that makes things worse. "You only care about him!" she will say. How can you be jealous of your own child??? Thinking about growing old with her has become thoughts of a continual burden, and good lord if I ever cant take care of her for some reason (i.e. me getting sick or needing help) I cant imagine what will happen.
This last weekend was our 6th anniversary, we have been having issues and I put a lot of effort and energy into planning/executing a nice trip for the three of us (our son is little, cant leave him home or with family for two nights). Exactly what I was worried would happen, happened. She got tired and became grumpy. This was the second day of the trip. She got moody and I was already tired and not willing to deal with it. She slammed a door (which she later denied) and I... something snapped. I yelled. I shouldn't have in front of our son and I apologized for that repeatedly. But I yelled and said I was tired of her attitude and I was ready to be done. She told me she wanted me to move out. I slept on the couch in the suite that night (not a sleeping couch btw) and it was a long awkward drive home the next morning.
Once home I told her I wasn't going to move out, I wouldn't leave our son. So she left and went to her parents (throwing her wedding and engagement rings at me on the way out), our son stayed with me. I gave her a few hours to breath and talk to her parents then went over to try to talk. Her parents were happy to watch our son so we could be alone. She told me what an asshole I am, how horrible I am to her and how bad I treat her.
I don't know how to make this feel better, how to improve my outlook. Apparently telling her this was a bad idea.
She ended our meeting with "Get a good fucking lawyer" and "I fucking hate you so much"
I took my son home and got him ready for bed. She stayed at her parents for awhile till they told her she had to go home and work things out. She came home just as we were reading our last story. She asked for her rings back.
Since then she has been acting like nothing is wrong. I still am doing everything (cooking, cleaning, house stuff) because I feel it needs to be done and I know she wont do it. I just don't know what to do.
I don't know what to do, I cant lose my son. I cant be with out him and there is no court in this country that would give me even half time I know. Fathers never get the time. But how do I stomach staying and being treated like crap? How does that show him a good example???
Sorry for the long totally random post...