Kimber This gets harder by the day. We have no communication at all. We were in court last week. She agreed to a divorce agreement. Right after court she called my attorney and said she didn't want a divorce and refused to sign. I know this is because she thinks I can't testify against her in criminal proceedings. Just because I know stuff she did! I did tell her I would turn her in if she didn't sign but now I don't know what to do. I don't want to tangle with a narcissist. She blew up social media with how horrible I am. She has manipulated so many people it makes me sick. I am grateful for my adult children and grandchildren but the crazy thing is it feels like I still miss her! Am I crazy or what?

Deanna I recently divorced a narcissist this past summer. It has been very hard but worth it. The pnly advice i have is be strong, you can survive it. Something that helped me was a web site called narcissistswife.com. It is good to read the blogs and know you are not alone.

clairecappetta My heart goes out to you Kimber, divorcing a narcissist is a difficult journey to take. Narcissists lie and twist everything around. They look for and enlist what is known as "Flying Monkeys" to huddle around them so they feel 'special', they need outside validation constantly to prop them up. This should sound familiar to you as you are divorcing one. Look around your circle of people and check to see who are the flying monkeys and be guarded as to what you confide in to them. It will make your life much easier. The number one priority is you. You need to take extra care of yourself now, read up on mindfulness, meditation, yoga, learn to slow your personal time and your mind down. Narcissists will spin you around mentally and emotionally using blackmail, veiled threats and people against you to try and prove to the world that they are right and far more superior to you. I discovered when I divorce mine, he would go to immense trouble to make life as difficult as he could for me with threats of violence, trying to destroy me. He was good at it... completely emptied my house, cleaned out my bank accounts while I was away. His abusive behaviour didn't stop because I had walked out and gone to live on my own, he in fact rampped it up several levels. If this happens to you keep a diary and note everything down and I mean everything! You'll need this to look back on, as the divorce progesses, his lies and distortions of the past will get twisted until they are unrecognisable to your own memories. You might start to doubt them, so write them down, keep them clear and true to you. He will bait you and then suddenly hand out olive branches, saying his worried about you, but he is looking for compassion, love and validation, all of which is false. Don't fall for it. Before you go to court, think of everything that is true and correct, then turn it upside down, back to front and that is what you'll hear from him in court, everything will be twisted around against you. I wish I had all of this through my divorce from a narcissist, it would have saved me thousands! You know you are already divorcing a narcissist, trust me that's half the battle! You can do this and come out stronger than before, just remember self-care. It's not selfish, it's imperative for your financial future, your peace of mind and emotional wellness. Look online and see if there are any meditation groups in your area, look for yoga, walking even if it's just for an hour each week. Make time for you, give yourself time to discover you and your new strengths. Doing this will help you for years to come after the divorce, especially when you suddenly remember the tough times. You will know, you are not what he said you were, you are who you know you to be. A strong, emotionally well and happy you!

[email protected] Hi Kimber - I am sure you will get great input from the community. In addition to that, here are some articles we have published addressing your question: https://www.divorceforce.com/article/how-to-heal-from-a-toxic-marriage-by-dr-anne-brown-phd-rncs https://www.divorceforce.com/article/was-the-love-ever-real-with-your-narcissist-by-lindsey-ellison https://www.divorceforce.com/article/6-powerful-ways-to-create-your-own-closure-after-divorce-by-lisa-arends Best to you!