After getting divorced, one may be more cautious when dating again, wanting to avoid potential pitfalls.
Your marital union has ended, and it can be puzzling how other folks stay together for half a century. A variety of couples graciously revealed their secrets to what makes a relationship last.
Just let go.
At the end of the day, let go of the trivial things which happened. Do not get worked up over the small stuff, but rather, focus on what's important. When we carry all of these insignificant grudges around, they become a big load. No one is perfect, so give your partner some slack. Do not keep score. Your spouse's actions are not motivated by malice, so learn to let go.
Choose your feelings.
It is within our control to be happy, or not. Unhappiness is a red flag to discuss with your partner. One woman informed her husband that she wanted a divorce because she was so unhappy. Talking it through, they discovered she missed her old job and was miserable being a stay-at-home mom. Once back in the workforce, she was more content with her life.
Avoid outside interference.
Do not let your friends and family interfere in your relationship. Friends can mean well, however, give lousy advice that is detrimental. They may have their own agenda, which does not align with yours. Trust your gut instinct, and do not rely on others to offer opinions on what to do.
Select confidantes carefully.
Be careful of what you confide to others—especially when going through a difficult time. Friends will side with you and may not like your partner after hearing your complaints about him or her. They often continue to loathe them after your problems are resolved. What you say in anger can have a negative effect on others' viewpoint of your partner, as well as you choosing to remain in the relationship.
Maintain a sense of humor.
Many said having a sense of humor keeps things running smoothly. Laughter connects people, and having fun adds spice to the relationship. Couples have taken up Salsa dance lessons, golf, joined gourmet dining clubs, and gotten into volunteering. They have become active in community issues, or rediscovered a long-lost passion in life. These people are reinventing themselves, together, on the same path.
Secrets to lasting love are to practice kindness, be respectful of your partner, and put them first in your life above others.
Written by Wendi Schuller
Wendi Schuller draws upon her knowledge as a nurse, Neuro-Linguistic Programmer (NLP), and hypnotherapist, providing a blueprint to guide people through divorce and beyond. Her latest book is The Global Guide to Divorce, and she has over 200 published articles. She is a guest on radio shows in the UK and U.S. Among Wendi’s passions are international travel and learning about other cultures.