Saying Goodbye Can Mean Saying Hello to a Better Life

3 min read

By Laura Lifshitz
Oct 15, 2020

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Saying goodbye is probably the most painful thing, ever. It's the worst word to ever utter. It's right up there with I don't love you, or even worse, telling someone you love him or her, and that person not saying I love you back.

Goodbye is final. It's depressing. It's heart wrenching. It cuts you right in the gut. Endings are the worst. Truly. There is no torture worse than a breakup or divorce, right? Right…very right. And wrong.

When love is real, and right, it doesn't end. It doesn't end for a few weeks or months. It doesn't die. It might ebb and flow. You might have times in which your "love tank" for your partner is low. But it doesn't end. It doesn't say goodbye. Real love persists, even when, sometimes, we wish we didn't love someone.

Real love with someone is forever, because it always exists.

So if you're saying goodbye, or someone is leaving you in the dust, it is very painful. But sometimes, it's very right. Saying goodbye means that there is a "hello" right around the corner. Saying goodbye to someone who isn't right for you, isn't right to you, or isn't right together with you, means a fresh start. Saying goodbye means you are back on that train platform, waiting to see what destination awaits you.


Saying Goodbye to Someone Who Wants to Divorce or Doesn't Want to Commit.

Means you get to be free for someone who does want to love you. Means you get to search for someone who does want to commit—who does believe you are special today, and every day. Saying goodbye means you get to say hello to someone who is "all in" 100 percent of the time.


Saying Goodbye to Someone Who Broke Your Heart.

Means you don't have to be broken-hearted anymore. Means you don't have to be disappointed anymore. Saying goodbye means you get to say hello to someone who values you, cares for you, and looks forward to being with you.


Saying Goodbye to a Marriage That is Broken.

Means no more fighting, no more tension, no more feelings of intense loneliness, no more feelings of inadequacy. It means saying hello to peace in your home and peace in your mind. It means healing and finding love again. Saying goodbye means saying hello to the happy version of you—the one that was probably lost quite a long time ago within the unhappy marriage.


Saying Goodbye to Old Marital Memories & Routines.

Means finding new routines. Meaning making new memories. Means cherishing the old memories that were positive and acknowledging the ones that were not so positive. Means making new habits and diving into a new life that you are in charge of. Saying goodbye means saying hello to a clean slate and giving a gentle wave goodbye to the past—for the past has shaped who you are today, but it doesn't have to make you "permanently molded." With each new choice and path you take, you become more and more your future you, a future you that is happier and not burdened by sad memories or bad choices.


Saying Goodbye to Your Mistakes.

It means that, while you acknowledge your mistakes and have asked for forgiveness from others, you are also forgiving yourself. You are letting go of the "should have's, would have's, and why didn't I's?" Saying goodbye means you are letting go of your self-criticism, and instead being gentle to yourself and saying hello to a more positive you.


Saying Goodbye to Someone Who Doesn't Love You.

Means finding someone who does. Means letting go of someone who isn't giving you all that you deserve and desire. Instead, you are saying hello and opening yourself up to another person who is out there, longing to love someone just like you. When you think about it this way: there is someone waiting for you. Waiting to find someone to love just like you. He or she just hasn't met you, yet.


Saying goodbye means saying hello to a million possibilities. So, while goodbye hurts so very much and feels so very final, it's not really. Your chapter is not finished, and your book doesn't end until you are good and gone. So how will you continue to write your story?

You decide. You choose your own adventures, always. Where will your heart travel to next?

If you are experiencing marital difficulties, please visit ProConnect to speak with one of our experts. To learn more about our Community, visit  

Written by Laura Lifshitz

Laura Lifshitz is a pint-sized, battery-operated, writer, comedienne, and single mother. Laura will work for chocolate. The former MTV personality and Columbia University graduate is currently writing about divorce, sex, women's issues, fitness, parenting, marriage and more for the New York Times, DivorceForce, Women's Health, Redbook, Working Mother, Pop Sugar, Your Tango and numerous other sites. Her own website is

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