When divorcing, most of your focus is on the process: securing a lawyer and ensuring they get the most equitable settlement, putting the house up for sale or negotiating a buyout, enlisting a professional to get your finances in order, attending bi-monthly divorce coaching sessions, and explaining the split to the kids. There isn’t much time to think about you. Once the divorce is finalized, it’s time to concentrate on yourself.
How can you use this newfound time alone for personal rediscovery? DivorceForce has the answer.
Work Through Your Emotions
Diving into the rediscovery process takes some introspection. Start with reflecting on your emotions, feelings, actions, and reactions. PositivePscyhology.com provides 70-plus self-reflective questions to ask yourself when working through introspection. The counselor community also offers several self-examination exercises and affirmations to gain perspective. In addition to working through your emotions on your own, enlist a professional. Counselors, therapists, and psychiatrists can help you work through difficult emotions.
Find a mental health professional who specializes in divorce today!
Learn About Yourself
Fashion magazine Harper's Bazaar author and single mom Rebecca Cox explains in an article titled “9 Unexpectedly Great Things About Life After Divorce”: “The chances are you’ll feel completely lost without your other half at first. But you get to fill the part of your personality they’ve always filled in with whatever you want.”
Take time for yourself post-divorce. Don’t just jump into the dating pool. Spend time alone to learn more about yourself and develop your new single personality. Try new hobbies, attend social events, learn a new skill, go back to school or attend an upskill course, or join a gym or local club. There are so many activities you can try to determine new likes and dislikes. It also offers a chance for socialization outside of your usual circle of friends and family. Trying something new can help you get out of your comfort zone, meet new people, and shape your new self.
Enjoy Living Alone
For those who don’t have children, you’ll need to get used to living alone again. And for those that split custody, you’ll need to prepare yourself for silence several times per week. Although it can be tough to spend time without the kids, the bright side is you’ll get to enjoy some alone time.
Here are several pros to living alone:
- You can enjoy personal space and privacy.
- Work from home isn’t constantly interrupted.
- You don’t have to clean anyone else’s mess.
- You can decorate any way you want.
- You can leave your dishes in the sink for an extra day, or more.
- You choose when to socialize.
- You decide what to watch on television.
- You finally get some peace and quiet.
Give Dating a Try
Once you are officially over your ex and feel you have processed the relationship’s ending, it’s time to give dating a try. Sign up for several dating apps or websites, join dating groups, and attend social gatherings to ensure you put yourself out there. You can even ask friends or family to set you up on blind dates. Experience the rush of swiping left and right on dating apps, a first date, or meeting someone while in line for coffee.
To learn more about dating post-divorce, read “Returning to Dating After Divorce.”
Spend Time With Friends
Make an effort to spend time with friends—single and married—post-divorce. Invite friends and family to your home or out to dinner. In digital lifestyle brand Fatherly’s article “Life After Divorce: 8 Tips for Living Alone Again After a Separation,” author Chris Illuminati says: “Don’t live under the assumption that people will just drop by or offer to see the new place...Make your home the default living room for watching wrestling PPVs or for monthly poker nights or for meeting up before jaunts with the running club. People won’t want to intrude on your new life unless you ask.”
After a divorce, you may make several additional friends. Join divorce support groups or forums. Try socializing and connecting with new groups of people. Surround yourself with friends who will help you through the transition and bring joy to your life.
For further assistance beginning the next chapter of your life, find a local expert now!
Gregory C. Frank is the CEO and Founder of DivorceForce.