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3 min read

By Patty Blue Hayes
Jun 01, 2020

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Faith can be a complicated word. For many of us, it can be linked to religion; and if we don't affiliate with a particular religion any more, or never did, where does that leave faith?

It wasn't until I went through my 'Infinite Possibilities' training when I found a definition of faith that I loved.

Faith is simply believing in things we cannot see or fully understand.

Often, we find ourselves going through life with our day-to-day activities, perhaps not so in touch with our sense of spirituality, or God or religion. We may have become a bit religiously disenfranchised or too busy with the forward motion of our lives to allow ourselves contemplation time.

And then a disaster strikes. Your parent dies. You get fired. You've been given a grim diagnosis. You're heartbroken and swirling in shades of grey—a place where you can't make sense of it, and thoughts seem to ping from the past to the future at lightning speed.


When my husband left, it broke me. I felt absolutely shattered, and spent a lot of time collapsed on the floor in a sobbing heap.

When you're already on the ground, you can't go any lower in the emotional limbo of life. I knew I wanted to get through the devastation, and because I'd recovered from many losses in the past, I knew it was possible.

I didn't exactly know how to get through it, but one thing I did fairly early on was dust off my faith.


For me, that looked like finding community in non-denominational services and learning about the universe and spirituality from a more scientific perspective. When a life event happens that strips us to bare bones, we often start asking the bigger questions like, What is the meaning and purpose of my life?, Why am I here? and the more contemporary, WTF?!

We may start to grasp the concept of faith, at first blindly believing there has to be a purpose and meaning that we just don't see or understand. The image of what faith is begins to become a bit more clear.

Getting to know our sense of faith, while an inward journey, is often marked by some outward expression. Sonia Choquette recently published a book, "Walking Home," about her journey on the El Camino de Santiago trail in Spain. And of course, there are movies like, "Wild" and "Eat, Pray, Love," that characterize the journey to find the peaceful self. Former military commander turned spiritual teacher, Bryan Reeves, writes about how he went on a two-year journey all over the world to find himself.


When I wasn't numbing my pain with alcohol and sex with strangers, I had immersed myself in volunteer projects as a means of connecting with my deeper self, who was frantically searching for so many answers. And what I realize now is that all of the external searchings kept revealing bits of information locked inside myself.

All the answers we're on a quest to find are within ourselves, but sometimes we go on a personal walkabout to reveal them.


I had a slippery hold of my newly found faith, and in one of the bleakest of moments, I let go and wanted to die. For me, faith was a practice that got stronger with each step in the direction of peace, and even the steps that brought me into chaos; because without experiencing the contrast of how unaligned I felt in the frenetic scenes, I wouldn't have had the stronger desire for the peace.

Part of the process of finding peace was practicing more faith. I have faith I have the strength to get through this. I have faith the answers will come. I have faith this is all serving my soul's growth. I have faith there is a higher purpose to come from these events.

Faith is believing the strength is there even when I wasn't feeling it. Faith is knowing whatever life experience unfolds, it is for my greater good—even if the lesson is dark and ugly.

Faith is understanding that what I couldn't see was there all along.

If you are experiencing marital difficulties, please visit DivorceForcePRO to speak with one of our experts. To learn more about our Community, visit www.DivorceForce.com.

Written by Patty Blue Hayes

Patty Blue Hayes is a divorce survivor. She chronicles the crippling effects of her divorce and the dark days and manic nights in her book "Wine, Sex & Suicide - My Near Death Divorce." Patty is a certified trainer and coach, who shares the tools and techniques that helped her heal her broken heart. You can learn more about Patty Blue Hayes at www.PattyBlueHayes.com.

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