Let's take a moment to celebrate caring, actively involved divorced and divorcing dads. These may include fathers who put their children first, even when their marriage is falling or apart or has ended; dads who recognize and acknowledge their ex's strengths, instead of bashing them in front of their kids; fathers who keep a unified front with their ex, and create an amicable co-parenting relationship.
Dads who choose to maintain a positive and unified front with the co-parent of their children are setting their kids up for the best possible outcome in life. These children know they are cared about because their needs are being put first. They will carry with them for the rest of their lives the feeling of being valued, safe, and important.
We are seeing more and more amicable divorces and co-parenting reported in the media, from famous fathers like Wiz Khalifa and Chris Martin to the not famous men working to be a positive male influence for their children, even when their entire world might be falling apart.
In addition to having a very important role in a child's life, fathers have the crucial task of being a positive male role model for their children. They are creating and molding our society's future and should strive to lead by example to their children, some of whom will become fathers themselves one day.
Fathers sometimes get a bad rep for not being as involved as mothers. Some might argue that because fathers don't carry the child in their womb, they don't have as strong of a connection as a mother. But, every family is unique, and many fathers these days want and consciously cultivate, deeper connection with their children.
Children notice and feel everything, even if they don't give voice to it, and they tend to remember important aspects of their childhoods like:
- The relationship dynamic between their father and his spouse
- How their father treats women or his spouse
- How their father handles conflict
And, when a relationship does not work out, a child will remember how their parents separated. It will become part of their life story.
Making the choice to establish a peaceful and positive environment at the start can be extremely beneficial to the children and the entire family.
Written by Claudia Mansbach
Divorce With Dignity facilitators are dedicated to helping you through your divorce in a peaceful manner. By assisting with planning for divorce, educating you on what to expect through the process, and coaching you on how to communicate with legal personnel, they can help you maintain control of your situation through clear communication, collaboration, and the maintaining of dignity.