AKA Liz - that's me, affectionately known as Liz, as in Elizabeth (Liz) Taylor. I can remember the first time I referred to myself as Liz, a woman who was probably better known for her eight marriages than her acting.
While I hope that I will not marry eight times in this lifetime, it certainly feels as though Liz and I share a similar path because I am on marriage number four.
This got me thinking—if Liz and I share a similar journey, what could we share with the world in terms of marriage, divorce, and the will to believe that the perfect person is still out there somewhere?
For those of us who have been married and divorced more than once, perhaps we were tricked into believing in a love that only exists in fairytales. And each time, when met with disappointment, we simply moved on hoping that the next Mister or Mrs. Right would be waiting around the corner. That certainly seems to have been my experience.
I’m not saying that I didn't work hard at my marriages, because I believe I did. And I don't consider my marriages to be failures either. But I do believe that I have been confused about what I expect in a marriage and what I am really looking for in a perfect mate.
Here's what I have come to know so far: if we haven't found our perfect partner, it's because we have yet to see ourselves as perfect. And I have to wonder, would Liz agree with me? Would Liz say that her search for Mister Right was really a quest to find her own perfection?
I believe that is exactly what I have been searching for, my own perfection. My mistake has been making it someone else's job to make me happy and make me see that I am, in fact, perfect just the way I am.
Perhaps the reason why I continued to search for my perfect mate is because I failed to see that the role of my spouse is to teach me to see my own perfection.
I've grown fond of being affectionately known as Liz. I believe that she, like me, would say that instead of looking for someone to complete you (like Jerry McGuire), spend your time finding ways to realize that you already are complete, you are perfection. Then, when the time arrives for you to meet the next Mister or Mrs. Right, it will be about the two of you living life as each other's true partner.
Liz and I agree that no matter the number of painful marriages and divorces, happily ever after is possible, and well worth your continued pursuit. We just think you have to be honest about what it is you're really looking for.
Written by Christine Mathieu
Christine Mathieu, B.Msc., is a wealth and personal empowerment coach, spiritual advisor, author, and speaker. Christine found liberation through her own financial bankruptcy. She is the founder of the Wealth Ministry for Women. Learn more about Christine at About.Me/christinemathieu.