After a divorce or breakup, it is completely understandable that the thought of loving again can be frightening. After experiencing hurt, and for many of you, betrayal, it would make sense that the idea of opening your heart and trusting another man would be the equivalent of jumping off a cliff into a bottomless black hole. Doesn’t sound fun at all right?

As human beings though, we are creatures of connection. We thrive on being in partnership with other human beings and especially with a significant other. For most of us, it is the ultimate human experience and denying this human impulse requires a tremendous amount of energy on your part.

CAN YOU IMAGINE HOW MUCH ENERGY IT COSTS YOU TO ACTIVELY CLOSE YOUR HEART? TO BUILD THOSE WALLS AND SOMEHOW KEEP THEM FROM FALLING DOWN?

There is a part of you that is scared, and for some of you, it is a huge part. But there is also another part of you that longs to love again. That part craves it and knows it is more than possible. Can you imagine how much pain this part of you is in, the part that desires love and connection, each time another brick gets laid on top of your walls? Can you imagine how much energy it is taking you to keep that part of you silenced and under control?

HERE’S THE DEAL. THE MORE WALLS YOU BUILD, THE MORE PAIN YOU WILL CREATE WITHIN YOURSELF.

It may seem like the walls are keeping you safe, but I promise you, they are not. Instead, they are making it impossible for you to breathe and difficult for you to function. With each passing day, they get heavier, weighing you down and suffocating you.

How much longer are you going to deny the wise part of you that desires love? How much longer will you allow fear to run your life? How much longer are you going to remain buried alive?

Either way, you are going to have to work hard and either way, you are going to have to go through the pain.

One choice is to continue to close your heart and endure the pain of sacrificing love for the rest of your life. Experiencing the endless longing of your heart and the slow but steady torture of your soul.

THE OTHER CHOICE IS TO WALK INTO THE FEAR AND ENDURE THE PAIN OF WHATEVER ARISES FOR YOU.

This process may be difficult, but it will be brief and it will be with purpose AND…. You will come out on the other side with the freedom to live joyfully and love fully once again.

The choice is yours and yours alone to make. When are you going to say enough is enough and make the decision to do whatever it takes to live courageously and claim the life you were born to live?

Love,
Jenn

This article originally appeared at http://jennjoycoaching.com/will-you-ever-love-again/.

Jennifer Butler is a writer and life coach who has navigated through her own divorce as well. To find more of her writing head over to www.jennjoycoaching.com or www.instagram.com/jennjoycoaching.