Divorce hovers at the top of the list of life’s most stressful events. Within a divorce, one can encounter prolonged mental anguish and suffering while going through the relationship breakup, legal proceedings, co-parenting, adjusting to life as a single person, and considering new relationships.
A divorced person may feel the impact of divorce on finances, social life, physical and mental health, place of residence, and almost any other area of life, leaving them to feel a variety of emotions including anger, sadness, frustration, and hopelessness.
Like the death of a loved one, loss of a job, a health crisis, imprisonment, and the other major life stressors, one who faces this life-altering event may often find comfort and help in healing by talking to others and finding support to make it through.
Talking to others, sharing thoughts and feelings, and seeking wisdom from others who are understanding is very reassuring and helpful, which is why support groups and online forums are a popular resource for divorcing people. Sharing with others can help validate feelings and allow one in need of help to not to feel alone in their experience or emotions, which can be empowering and offer a much-needed sense of hope!
Divorced people may be especially attracted to these options because they feel guilty or ashamed about laying all of their issues with friends and family, and prefer to talk to others who have experienced similar situations and have judgment-free advice to share.
Many online options exist to help people in all phases of divorce to answer questions and find support. Forums, chat groups, and networks have formed to discuss specific target topics like blended families, alienated parents, victims of abuse and infidelity, single parents, and much more.
Cassidy, a woman seeking solidarity in an infidelity forum shared “joining this group has given me a sense of support in an otherwise alienating situation. It is my safe place when I feel like I have none. You go through feeling so alone, and when you find a group like ours, you realize just how many people are with you.”
Ayelora, a member of a blended family group stated “it’s a place where people think and feel like me. I come here because it’s a place to air out my frustrations and get feedback, as well as support.”
Jen, seeking support for step parenting added, “My group makes me realize I’m not alone. We can encourage, agree, or disagree. We can hold someone up in a dark time and can help celebrate triumphs. I have to say being a stepmom is the hardest thing I’ve ever taken on, and this group gives me the strength to carry on!”
Tracy, a participant in an alienated parent group pointed out one of the potential downfalls of continually exposing oneself to the frustrations and sad stories of others: “sometimes if I am very down, the group can make me feel sadder.”
Feelings of depression through exposure to other peoples’ problems, receiving bad advice, or seeking legal information from unqualified sources could cause more problems than before. Often, individuals who seek support may be in a fragile mental state and desperate for answers. Well-meaning strangers may offer information that could lead a distressed divorcee astray.
If you’re interested in seeking online support to assist you through your divorce, consider these points to get the most out of the experience:
Take advice from strangers and non-experts with a grain of salt. Most of the people you will encounter wish to help and may have great advice to share; but, some situations require professional intervention. If you hear legal or financial advice or have a question pertaining to psychiatric needs, you may be well-served to get a second opinion or do more research before acting on any advice.
Avoid drama and in-fighting in groups with minimal structure or supervision. As in any group with multiple members, some people seek drama and others do not get along with others. A group with limited involvement from a moderator may breed disrespect between members or leave room for bullying, and who needs more trouble in their life when already dealing with divorce?
Access support in a safe environment. Bullies aren’t the only ones who sometimes stalk online forums. Some troublemaking exes have been known to infiltrate groups to gather information to use in court. Make sure that wherever you unload your frustrations is truly a safe zone!
Pace yourself, especially if you feel yourself becoming more down about your situation. Support should help you feel inspired, hopeful, or offer a realistic idea of what to expect. Although many aspects of divorce are very negative, focusing on an excessive amount of negativity can dim your outlook and hinder the progress of healing. Take a break, if need be, or re-focus your interactions on other topics if you feel yourself becoming more depressed.
DivorceForce is the leader in online divorce support! Members can reap all the benefits of care and concern from others who can identify with your struggle in a completely secure and confidential setting. Participants may access information about lawyers and judges in their area and exchange with others about all main topics of divorce.
DivorceForce works closely with numerous divorce experts who write informative articles for the website on a wide variety of divorce topics, and who also join in on discussions about finances, parenting, custody, dating, infidelity, abuse, religion, legal issues, and many others. Members of the community engage in conversations, vent, share, and offer guidance to one another; but, counselors, coaches, legal and financial experts, and other divorce experts monitor and intervene to keep content accurate, civil, and of the most benefit to users.
DivorceForce offers all that a divorcing or divorced person needs for encouragement and support in one convenient and comprehensive network! The divorce experience encompasses many facets, so finding all support needs in one community relieves some of the stress of navigating the process. One can have the best available in divorce support by turning to DivorceForce to enjoy confidentiality, expert guidance, thought-provoking and informative articles, and the sense of belonging and understanding that comes from connecting with others who “get it.”
Don’t go through divorce alone! There are so many others who have either been through what you are currently experiencing or who are walking the journey right beside you. Finding a quality community can make all the difference in feeling heard, supported, and on the road to healing!
Audrey Cade is the author of “Divorce Matters: help for hurting hearts and why divorce is sometimes the best decision” and the matriarch of a blended family of eight. She is an experienced “divorce warrior” in the areas of co-parenting, step parenting, parental alienation, and re-marriage, and enjoys sharing these experiences with others who are also committed to raising happy and healthy kids. Audrey’s professional experience is as a case manager social worker with the developmentally disabled, families with young children, and homeless populations. She holds degrees in Early Childhood Education, Human Service & Management, and a Master’s in Psychology.