Divorce is complicated. Choosing a lawyer in divorce often complicates matters when in fact hiring a lawyer is intended to ease the situation.

I recently read the following article. It triggered one thought … Who’s Interest does your lawyer have? Are they looking out for your best interest or are they looking to maximize billable hours? Think about this when choosing your attorney and advocate.

How does divorce impact a person? (by Alison Keil)

“What has divorce turned me into?”

The question above was posed to me by an embittered client. It’s an understatement to say divorce constitutes a complicated bundle of issues and emotions. Upon completing their divorces several clients have expressed to me they felt a “death” at the end of the process. Divorce is truly a profound loss… of love, hope, innocence, and dreams once held.

I have had the good fortune over the last 15 years to help individuals during the roughest points in their lives. I have watched them selflessly smile at their children’s birthday parties while standing next to the spouse who left them. I admire clients who can work in stressful professions, parent well, and simultaneously endure the stress and anger of divorce. They have taught me about strength, love, adversity, honesty and so many positive aspects of life. Indeed, my clients have made me a better and more tolerant person, and unquestionably a better parent, and I am grateful.

I try to counsel my divorcing clients to not let the fear, animosity, betrayal, and anxiety get the best of them. Letting anger rule inevitably results in more protracted, costly and emotionally exhausting litigation. Clients who decide to face divorce fairly and honestly, while reasonably cooperating in litigation, experience reduced legal fees. They also often achieve a result substantially similar to that produced by the costly and drawn-out litigation that results when the parties refuse to settle. Except without all the extra legal fees and stress.

Divorce presents choices. Individuals involved in divorce need to choose whether to have the pain, loss, and anger of divorce define them or to define how they will approach divorce.

This article originally appeared at http://www.lowcostdivorceny.com/divorce-impact-person/.

Alison Keil is an attorney and principal of Keil & Siegel, L.L.P., divorce attorneys licensed to practice law in the State of New York. She specializes on contested and uncontested divorces, prenuptial/postnuptial agreements, legal separation, custody, support, and all other areas of family law. Keil & Siegel’s mediation and collaborative law practice aim to resolve marital disputes in an amicable manner at a very cost. You can find more about Alison and her practice at http://www.lowcostdivorceny.com .


Have any good recommendations about choosing a lawyer. Please add your advice for someone who needs it and pay it forward.