It’s always a party when someone gets engaged or married. Wahoo! It’s the best. Couple’s life…right?
Not always. Not everyone was born to be married to the same person for the rest of his or her life, and that’s ok. In fact, there are many unhappily married people out there. Enough to make you wonder how viable the institution is in the first place. Of course—there’s nothing wrong with marriage…but there’s also nothing wrong with being single. It can be a happier and in fact, more liberating choice for so many damn reasons that no one should be surprised to meet someone over 30 who decided not to “tie the knot.”
Being single is sexy and a lot of times, it’s sexier.
1) They Don’t Let Themselves Go
I’m sorry but way too many married people take their coupledom as an excuse to let themselves go. There’s nothing wrong with a doughnut or three, but disregarding your health and letting your body go isn’t good for anyone long-term, single or married.
Singles are the ones who tend to nurture their bodies and yes, typically this is done to attract a mate, but still. Single is sexy—and sexier, most of the times!
2) They Invest in Themselves
There’s nothing more UNSEXY than someone staying in a dead marriage or relationship in order to get by or simply out of fear…or disbelief he or she deserves better. Being single is sexy because that single person has decided he or she is enough of an investment that he or she doesn’t need to desperately find someone to fill up needs and desires. A single person has decided that he or she is so kickass amazing, that there is no time for settling for less. Even if a singleton wants to date or is dating, that person hasn’t settled just to be part of the sheep that believe “plus one” is the only way to go.
3) They Checked Out of a Bad Situation
Many of us divorced and single are simply sexy because we decided not to stick around for Act II with a loser, deadbeat or simply perhaps a lovely person but an incompatible partner. Single is sexy because it’s freedom from previous bad situations or incompatible situations that simply didn’t work. Single is sexy because he or she had the power to change to a better way of life. To decide, I deserve better.
4) They Get More Flavors
Monogamy is a challenge that needs to be dealt with as the years go by. Now that people live longer, you could end up with the same slice of pizza—sex— for the rest of one’s life. Being single means you get to enjoy as many or as little flavors as you want.
How fun is that? I suppose it depends on how you like your pizza—the same each week, or different toppings for different days. That to me is sexier. Pepperoni one day and pineapple the next.
5) They Are Selective
I have been single since separating from my ex almost three years ago. I could have found any old boyfriend, but I am not looking for “any old” boyfriend. I don’t need just somebody to come home to—I need a “special body” to attend to.
Being single is sexy because you’ve decided to be selective…because you know your worth and don’t feel the need to find a basic warm body.
6) They Have Their Own Life
Singles are not asking their husbands or wives for permission to see friends and do things. Singles don’t have to call the ball and chain to ask if it’s a good time to do X, Y or Z. Singles do what they want and it’s empowering.
One of my most cherished moments post-split was when I realized I didn’t have to hurry to wash the dishes for my anal ex. I could leave the dishes for an hour or two.
I realized I could see friends when I wanted—and I didn’t have to live my life on someone else’s timeline or live my life according to how he saw fit.
Being single is sexy because damnit, it’s freedom! Freedom from someone else trying to call the shots. Even in the best of relationships, one can feel as if he or she is constantly compromising. It’s nice to be the boss of your own life.
7) They Choose the Road
When you’re dating, you make a path together. If it’s a healthy relationship, you each have your own lane. When it’s not healthy, you’re both bumper-to-bumper.
When you’re single, you choose the road, the speed, and the lane. You have ownership of everything in your life. It’s scary but the fact is all your successes or failures are your own sole responsibility—and that is sexy. Because when you’re in a partnership, sometimes your life changes for the better or worse because of your partner—not you. Being single means you are the CEO and VP, and that means more opportunity and more life—in my opinion.
8) They Don’t Have the Same Old Battles or Days
When you’re single, it’s not the same old, same old fights or habits day in and day out like old married couples tend to experience. You don’t fall into ruts—well, maybe sometimes, and you don’t have to worry about the same old fights rearing their ugly heads…or doing the same thing weekend in and out.
You don’t have to answer to anyone and you don’t have to fight or face any stresses that may happen with a partner.
If that’s not sexy, I don’t know what is!
So if you’re single this Valentine’s Day don’t be sad. Instead, my suggestion?
Enjoy as much pizza as possible…
Laura Lifshitz is a pint-sized, battery-operated, writer, comedienne, and single mother. Laura will work for chocolate. The former MTV personality and Columbia University graduate is currently writing about divorce, sex, women’s issues, fitness, parenting, marriage and more for the New York Times, DivorceForce, Women’s Health, Redbook, Working Mother, Pop Sugar, Your Tango and numerous other sites. Her own website is frommtvtomommy.com.