There are plenty of adjustments as you go through a break-up and the transition from your relationship to being newly single will take time. There may be many challenges coming up as you transition into your new normal, therefore keeping yourself accountable and on track will lead you in the right direction.

It can also be a confusing time, one that is completely normal to feel during your break-up. You may be feeling loneliness, uncertainty, anger, resentment, and fear. There may be moments you cannot control wholly and the not knowing of your future and also the unknown of how to react can be daunting. You are not alone and with a little support and awareness of yourself, you will begin to move forward easier one day at a time.

Let me share with you 5 effective strategies you can begin to do now.

1. Don’t be afraid to cry and release everything you are feeling
Have you cried? If not, you need to and don’t be afraid to. Sometimes there’s nothing like a good cry to make you feel better. Some may say shedding tears to be a sign of weakness, however, crying is an effective coping mechanism to release emotions you are feeling when you perhaps cannot express them clearly verbally. It takes away any negative feelings you may have bottled up inside and releases them. Crying can also reduce emotional stress on your body. So let’s cry!

2. Surround yourself with a healthy group of people
Stay connected with uplifting people. Surround yourself with positive people who will support you in a joyous way. Family and friends are great support, however, if you find them being negative or confused themselves with the break-up, maybe it’s time to join a new group. What is something you are interested in that you haven’t been able to do while in your relationship? Who can you reach out to?

3. Ensure you are sleeping enough
Sleep plays an important role in your overall health. Ensuring you gain enough sleep will begin to heal and repair your heart. Studies have found that short sleep can negatively impact some aspects of brain function similar as alcohol intoxication. With that, try to have at least 7 hours a night and this will safeguard you from making un-rational decisions during your break-up. When you sleep well, you function better!

4. Get clear on the values you live by
Going through a break-up can have you react in ways you never knew was in you and with that, you may have forgotten what your values are. You may not remember or know what they are and now is a key time to get clear of what is important to you. Being clear on your values and what you live by keeps you accountable and on track, especially in tough situations. By living with your chosen values you begin to live with more purpose. What is important to you? Write them down and when you’re having that moment of everything just seems too hard, remind yourself of your values.

5. Stop comparing yourself to others
The worst thing you could do right now is think the grass is greener elsewhere. Everyone has something going on. We don’t really know what’s happening with others even if we think we do, so don’t compare yourself to the one that looks like she has it all, you don’t know. When you start to compare yourself to others, you have already started to disengage with yourself… let it go, don’t compare. Focus on yourself!

Starting with these five tips will keep you on track and accountable as you begin to heal from your break-up, with more love and happiness within. Start embracing you during this transition.


This article originally appeared at

Joanne Michelle is a 40-something mom of two and happily divorced. Joanne is a qualified health coach helping women to live a happy and healthy life. Joanne believes in transformation via “Recovery, Rebuilding, and Renewal.” Her practice is based in Canberra, and is expanded Australia wide and internationally. You can find out more about her and her practice at