It’s official: it’s a divorce!
Not a boy, not a girl…but an official divorce. Nicely, done, nicely done!
Now that you’re finally single again, what are you going to do with your life?
No pressure or anything, but it’s time to make a serious bucket list of 12 items to complete monthly in this first year divorced. While you may have your own version of this, here are some suggestions of great bucket list items to do as a newly divorced man or woman.
1- Take a Road Trip Or Travel
Whether it’s on your own or with the kids, the ladies or your guy crew, put a road trip on that divorce bucket list! This is a great experience to have for not only clearing your head and gaining perspective, but also tightening bonds if you happen to bring along company.
If traveling is more your style, do it! Get out and go somewhere, anywhere, even if it’s for a quick weekend.
2- Forgive Someone
Whether it’s your ex or an old feud with a family member, forgive someone and if it’s not your ex, try to mend a relationship that is important to you. Even if you can’t, taking time to heal over an old wound is vital to your new life after divorce.
3- Learn A New Skill At Work
If you’re not starting a new career for the first time post-divorce, learn a new skill. Take that course at the college level or the programs your company offers for once and for all! Make a move to position yourself more advantageously with your job.
4- Sign Up For A Hobby That Makes You Feel Happy, But Maybe Ridiculous
Always wanted to ballroom dance? Box? Play the flute?
Whatever it is, even if you feel completely ridiculous doing the foxtrot, do it!
Try something new and take it on as a hobby. The time is now, especially while you’re single.
5- Drop Pounds Or Products
Are you looking to lose weight? Now is the time! Set your goal and make it. Sign up with a trainer or nutritionist. Join a running group. Sign up for kickboxing.
If physical weight isn’t what you need to drop, start getting rid of clutter.
Throw out anything you haven’t worn in over a year. Get rid of tchotchkes and other crap littering your life and space. Get rid of the old energy!
6- Reunite With Old Friends
Reunite with your college, HS or elementary school buddies! Even plan the reunion yourself! Make old connections new again.
7- Have People Set You Up
If you’re ready, let anyone you trust set you up. Go on blind dates. Say yes to everyone who asks. It’s only coffee! The goal is to meet new people, make friends and maybe find love, but that’s not the be all, or end all. Truly, the idea with this bucket list item is to help you learn what’s out there and gain confidence.
8- Take On An Adrenaline Rush
Skydive. Rock climb. Fly a plane.
Whatever it is that thrills you and also terrifies you at the same time, sign up for it! You only live once, literally, so do something that gets your blood flowing.
9- Join A Cause
I don’t care if it’s just the PTO or if it’s your local political group, find some time to dedicate to a cause you care about. Not only will it help you feel good about yourself as you recover from the divorce, but it will also help you regain some purpose, as well as help you meet new people, post-marriage.
10- Toss The Wedding Junk
Get rid of the old memories. Burn it. Toss it. Throw it out! There’s no need to hang onto every wedding card and memento anymore. If you have kids though, save a few items for them to see and have as they get older. It’s nice for them to understand their history.
11- Have A Sexual Adventure
Whatever your flavor, try out something sexually you’ve always wanted to. This can be hard if you’re single, but hopefully you can find someone to enjoy this “activity” with or perhaps, make a lit of activities you’d like to do once you meet the right person.
This is important because typically, people leaving bad marriages are not sexually satisfied and can feel very lonely and undesirable for some time afterwards.
12- Meet Someone New Every Day
Say hello to someone you cross paths with every day. Reach out to people you see but haven’t made time to befriend. Ask people for their names. Give a new stranger a new compliment each day. Put out positive energy and smile even when you feel sad.
The bottom line is a bucket list can help you:
- Gain focus
- Drop old bad energy
- Meet new people
- Conquer fears
- Push yourself
Make this first year post-divorce the best!
Laura Lifshitz is a pint-sized, battery-operated, writer, comedienne, and single mother. Laura will work for chocolate. The former MTV personality and Columbia University graduate is currently writing about divorce, sex, women’s issues, fitness, parenting, marriage and more for the New York Times, DivorceForce, Women’s Health, Redbook, Working Mother, Pop Sugar, Your Tango and numerous other sites. Her own website is frommtvtomommy.com.